.Publisher's Note: The observing is actually the text of a character from Expedition Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reviewing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed very much regarding specifics of this purpose in the course of the month I have actually been actually right here, mostly for 2 explanations: the first being that there has actually been incredibly little opportunity to do that sort of composing, and second of all given that I'm not sure exactly how comfy I am sharing thoughts I share with friends and family along with the rest of the globe.Effectively, obviously the planet transformed today. What I state or perform is very slight contrasted to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was actually struck through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I guess. Hard to know at whom to direct our anger and also concern ...I had just finished a lot of tasks today, the most taxing being actually the physical exams of all crew participants. In a personal chat adhering to that, the air travel doctor informed me they were actually possessing an extremely bad day on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He explained the circumstance to me as best he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was astonished, then horrified. My initial thought was actually that this wasn't a genuine discussion, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It simply really did not appear achievable on this incrustation in our country. I couldn't even picture the particulars, also just before the updates of more destruction started being available in.Vladimir visited fairly quickly, picking up that one thing incredibly serious was actually being covered. I swayed Michael into the element at the same time. They were actually likewise blown away as well as stunned. After our company authorized off, I tried to discuss to Vladimir and also Michael as absolute best I could possibly the prospective immensity of this act of horror in midtown New york as well as at the Government. They plainly comprehended and were actually extremely supportive.I glanced at the Planet Map on the computer to see where over the planet we were actually and also noticed that our experts were actually coming southeast away from Canada and also would be actually skipping New England in a handful of moments. I whized around the terminal until I found a home window that will provide me a view of NYC and got the local electronic camera. It happened to be a video camera, as well as I was appearing southern from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have an odd flower to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the metropolitan area. After reviewing one of the news articles our company merely received, I believe our company were considering NY around the time of, or quickly after, the failure of the 2nd high rise. How horrendous ...I swung the video camera all along the East Shoreline to the south to view if I could possibly observe some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing at all showed up.It was fairly difficult to think about work afterwards, though we had some to do, yet on the next track we crossed the United States further south. All three of us were actually working 1 or 2 cams to attempt to obtain scenery of New York or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no specific source could be found. It all looked incredible coming from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't picture the tragic scenes on the ground.Aside from the mental effect of our nation being actually attacked as well as lots of our residents and also maybe some close friends being eliminated, the absolute most frustrating emotion being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Next time ... I guess the fatigue as well as mental strain obtained the greatest of me. I could not remain awake and remain to compose. Today was actually still difficult, yet our team began receiving more details, plus our company had the tribute of chatting directly with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, who guaranteed our company that the ground groups would remain to work as well as guarantee our protection, as well as the safe operation of the Place. Our team likewise heard from our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the Program are actually all totally dedicated to proceeding secure operations and also assistance. These were certainly never inquiries for me. I recognize all these individuals! The ground staffs have been very encouraging, quite understanding of the impact of the information, as well as have attempted to be as beneficial as achievable. They have all been extremely professional and also centered though I can not envision the diversion of this particular sort of headlines being available in and the notion that government buildings might be at risk. They never avoided a beat, even when moving nerve center. And also a group of elderly workers as well as buddies offered us a rather comprehensive rundown about what was actually understood and also what was actually being carried out in the government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually quite beneficial and kind of them to do in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has likewise been actually helpful and also practical, making an effort to uplink news articles when our personal resources were inoperable, as well as saying kind words ...My crewmates have actually been fantastic, also. They know it's been a challenging time for me and the individuals on the ground, and they have actually made an effort to be as also keeled as well as helpful as achievable. Michael also corrected me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they give me a lot of area to assume when I required it. They are actually quite compassionate and obviously outraged at whoever will perform this.I recognize so many folks in Washington, a lot of individuals who journey to DC and also NYC, numerous who are aviators, that I experienced certain I would certainly receive at least a few items of trouble over the following couple of days. I obtained the initial one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I met Chic during cadet summer season when we were in the D&B with each other, and our team possessed tons of courses together. I can't envision what he should of gone through, and right now I listen to that he may possess risen additionally than we can easily also think of by perhaps avoiding his plane coming from being actually the one to attack the White Home. What a horrendous loss, however I ensure Chic was fighting bravely throughout. As well as rips do not flow the same precede ...It's difficult to describe just how it experiences to be the only United States fully off the planet at a time such as this. The feeling that I must be there along with all of you, dealing with this, helping somehow, is actually frustrating. I know that we get on the threshold (or even beyond) of an awful switch in the past of the globe. Many traits will certainly certainly never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the 1000s as well as 1000s of folks straight impacted by these horrendous acts of violence, yet most likely for everyone. Our team are going to locate our own selves experiencing in a different way regarding loads of traits, featuring probably space expedition, however.It's unpleasant to see smoke pouring from injuries in your personal country from such a fantastic angle. The duality of performing a spacecraft committed to boosting everyday life on the earth and also enjoying lifestyle being damaged by such witting, dreadful acts is actually jolting to the psyche, no matter that you are. As well as the expertise that every thing will definitely be actually different than when our experts introduced by the time we land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country as well as in our management that we will certainly perform every little thing possible to better safeguard her and our loved ones, and to carry justice wherefore has actually been actually done. I possess confidence that the really good people at NASA will definitely perform every little thing required to proceed our purpose safely and also return us safely and securely at the right time. And I skip each one of you significantly. I can not exist with you in person, and we have a very long way to go to complete our mission, but be particular that my soul is actually along with you, and recognize you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Luckily, it's been actually a busy week up listed below. As well as to prove that, like our country, we are continuing on our planned course along with business as usual (as long as achievable). Tonight the current enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Area will be actually introduced coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (US opportunity), it will definitely dock with our company, at a port never ever utilized prior to on the nadir side of the Solution Element. This brand new element will certainly give our company one more place to dock a Development or even Soyuz and also will definitely give a big airlock with 2 useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our experts are going to do a few of before our company come home.The complication just before in coping with recently was insufficient headlines. The trouble today is excessive. It arrived all at once when email was brought back, and also there is actually not nearly enough opportunity to review everything! Plus it's also challenging to manage all of it immediately. However I appreciate obtaining it, and I truly cherish the great letters of help and friendship I am actually receiving.Our company are actually succeeding aboard, obtaining our job carried out, and also talking about things. Final night our company possessed a long discussion over dinner regarding the importance of these occasions, the feasible activities to follow, as well as what need to be actually carried out. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he obtained coming from pals in Russia mentioned especially to inform me how sorry they were that this occurred, stretching their condolences, and also inquiring just how I was carrying out. Vladimir showed me the Russian term for "condolences" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are a lot very long to articulate effortlessly.) Really type people.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to transmit online broadcasts of radio headlines regarding the activity and affiliated accounts, to make certain I was actually properly updated. Every expert who has started the line to cover a technique or even an issue has at some point prolonged hellos to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that due to the special day of remembrance in the US, all the time folks had actually been carrying blooms and edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually igniting candles in the road outside the consulate. Exactly how the world has actually modified.Individuals almost everywhere seem to be to recognize the senselessness and also scary in this strike. As well as the remarkable loss. Moscow has managed these sort of problems in the last couple of years with home and also train battles, so they are as troubled to eliminate this risk as our experts are actually. But all-time low collection is actually that there are great people almost everywhere that desire to stay in tranquility. I check out that a youngster talked to, "America is actually therefore excellent to other nations, our team always aid everyone, exactly how can they hate our team so much?".I wish the example of collaboration as well as rely on that this space capsule plus all people in the system illustrate daily are going to one day inspire the rest of the world to function similarly. They must!Sadly, our experts will not be actually piloting over the United States while folks are actually igniting candles. Don't know if our team could see that anyway. Our experts did, however, view a very unique and also beautiful sight a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our experts were actually overtaking it and it emerged about 3 minutes after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight attacked our terminal, so it was still in the dark. It appeared like a large comet with a right, vast rear silhouetted against the darker earth below. Even with some poor illumination for a while as the sun reached our window at a reduced position, I dealt with some video clip of it as to begin with our company passed the rocket, and after that watched it start to catch up as it acquired elevation as well as speed. I filmed up until major motor deadline as well as enhancer separation developed just like our company came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. An unforgettable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Life takes place, also in space. Our team're here to stay ... Frank.